~ on dreams and waking ~


And awakening from deep sleep,
I wonder, which is the dream?

In the quiet of morning I reflect on the nights journey. My meetings with old faces and tours of familiar places. The hours spent with souls known and not.
Our dreamscapes, where shapes shift, change and rearrange themselves seamlessly, seem to only make sense only behind the softness of closed eyelids.

Now blinking awake, I come to this world, fresh at the start of the day. The possibilities found so easily in dreams seem suddenly limited, illogical and lumbered with both thought and fear.

As we slip between the planes of consciousness – be it in meditation, in process, in prayer – awake or asleep – we are gifted with glances into unknown aspects of ourselves.
Here we see and experience our connected self, our deepest belonging, our true being beyond mere birth.
In fear and forgetting, we can feel fragmented and tortured, lost, in the lonely, waking thoughts of ‘I’.

Each day and night, eyes closed or open, we merge with the greatness of a complex truth that transcends and challenges the training of our education-tamed minds.

We have been taught, that seeing is believing.

But in our hearts we know, that first we must believe…and then it can become real.

Our intuition tells us to move forward in faith, towards that which our hearts can conceive but often cannot see.
It tells us to keep our hope alive, despite our hardships and harrowing life circumstances.
We struggle and ask – do I listen to my heart or my head?

We are gifted with giant brains.
Our intellect is capable of great problem solving and creations, and yet we are distracted or dulled by the sedatives of screens, prescriptions and shopping.

On the surface, our cart is full, but underneath our hearts are empty…haemorrhaging.

This modern day malady can create inertia and despair.
Or it can refuel our commitment and inspire us to look for depth and connection beyond what we can easily see.

When my heart is heavy, when I find it hard to discern between the waking and the dream, I hear a call from deep inside me, a part of my self that knows what is best.
She says to me.

‘Go outside my friend.
Look for something real, something alive and living.
And touch it.
Not just with your hands.
Touch it, hold it, honour it with the sacred kernel of your deepest attention.

Be not distracted or seduced by the trappings of your fleeting thoughts or feelings.
They run like endless films across the screen of your short and simple life.
They will confuse you, confound you, creep into your being and convince you they are real.

Step back.
Slow down.
Breathe in the brilliance of the morning. Let the birdsong bathe your soul in its beauty.
Welcome the freshness of day without the fragmentation of newsfeeds and yesterday’s fears.

Be not afraid to open your heart to the wonder of what is quietly on offer.
The trees, the streams, the sunshine and clouds will be your friends when all else is gone.

Trust them.
Trust yourself.
To reconnect.
To listen deeply to their truth.
Your truth.
Trust that you will always know what you need…
to lead your sweet self, home.’

(C) Chandu Bickford 2019

Art by Vasil Woodland – Heavenly Canoe